A Rabid Critic

August 3, 2017

Here’s what a Reddit member messaged me when he saw one of my book promotions on a sub-Reddit:

  1. Most people think self-published books are terrible and from egotists who think their first draft is magic.

  2. You claim your story is the greatest ever, and that others are shit, despite no evidence to back up the claim. In fact you beg for reviews because no fucker wants to read it.

   Therefore I believe people like yourself (and others who come under point 2) are the reason for point 1. But as a test for myself, I decided to check out the 'look inside' of your book. A couple generic quotes from generic sources, followed by page after page of you giving cliff notes to previous books nobody other than yourself gives a shit about. Like a real masterpiece.


Seriously, if you want people to read your shit, don't put on this act of it being the greatest thing ever.


   Well, dumb fuck, thanks for reading only the intro to my book and then providing such an in-depth review. Admittedly, I did brag that “Deathsteel”, the book in question, was one of the greatest adventure stories out there and that people should buy it post haste. Yeah, I came on too strong, but that’s advertising. If I had said, “I have a new book out, could you like read it and stuff? II’s kinda good.” what would people have thought? “Uh, no I’ll pass.” Despite that, it is one hell of read, like me or hate me.

   Our friend sent a second message the next day:


   Does the Two Towers [that’s the “The Tower Towers” by J.R.R. Tolkien—D.S,] give cliff notes for fellowship? [I guess he meant “Fellowship of the Ring"—D.S.] No. And if it did, it wouldn't be just a step-by-step list of events.

Isn't one from Ghandi? [sic] Ya know, one of the most quoted people ever.

  I don't hate your writing. I never said I did. I dislike that a person so deluded has self-published a first draft in an unprofessional manner, with a queer summary as the opening.

   But hey, publishing it like you have doesn't effect [sic] me, it only causes you issues.


Don't listen to me, though. I haven't written the greatest story ever like you.


   Well, if I had to listen to bitter assholes like you I’d be in a dark room curled up in the corner sucking on my thumb. First off, this wasn’t a first draft. My book went through countless revisions. Secondly, I didn’t realize Gandhi was so widely quoted. But if so, does quoting from one of history’s wisest men detract from anything? Thirdly, I wrote a synopsis so that the reader wouldn’t be too disoriented if he or she hadn’t read the first two installments. I did it as a courtesy. I have Tolkien’s “Lord if the Rings” and the publisher also provides a detailed introduction to each of the three books. I don’t know about your copy. Fourthly, I never said self-published books were shit. Well, I did say epic fantasy was crap, whether published by companies or by the authors themselves. Much of it is, following the same formula over and over. A lot of the Indie fantasy writings are also horribly written, even though they garner huge audiences. 

   What did I learn from this jerk? Not to promote anything on Reddit, which is mostly for stupid discussions anyway, junk like “How do you pick up girls in a bar? Why is a Vulcan’s ears pointed? Or why do some farts smell worse than others?” If you’re a gamer, it can be useful.  You can read critiques about a new releases or even learn the secrets of beating it. Otherwise, the site blows. Not only will your posts or your comments be bashed by teenage goofs but more than likely you’ll be trolled by these same assholes via your inbox.

   After spending 400+ hours writing and rewriting “Deathsteel,” I would hope for more than someone calling it “first draft shit.” Even a “not bad” would have made me feel better. I’m a friendless writer and I have no one to encourage me nor to give me feedback. Since beginning my writing sojourn one cold January morning in 2015, I did pick up a few colleagues here and there. Now they’re all gone and I haven’t found any replacements. Creative people are hyper-sensitive, they want to be constantly flattered. If they can’t find that sort of attention, they’ll look elsewhere. Spoiled brats. I persomally prefer honesty rather than flattery. If my stuff is terrible, tell me, but tell me why it’s terrible, don’t just pull the comment out of the air. Justify it. I never tell anyone their writing is terrible, even when it is, but I will advise that they should avoid clichés and add more detail. Sound counsel for any writer.

   Don’t worry, you half-wit Reddit member (and my former colleagues). My writing will continue and I will suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Oh shit, now I've quoted Shakespeare.










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